So it was time to begin a rehabilitation process that I have described as both the most maddening and frustrating thing I have ever done (or ever will do, I’m confident), and yet also the most natural thing that has ever occurred to me. I know those are totally contradictory concepts. I cannot explain it any better. In preparation for an eventual return home, my friend and fellow banjo player Bruce talked about the need to build a front door ramp for me. I agreed that it was now needed. By this time, I knew of many hundreds of people who were praying for me. I am convinced of the efficacy of all those prayers to Jehovah-Jira, our God who provides.
After completing both occupational therapy (your arms and hands, basically) and physical therapy (your legs) I was still way off from being able to do much more than bring my left hand up to the banjo neck, Forget about being able to even remotely place my fingers where chords were formed, much less being able to make a descent-sounding chord. I have a short video of me trying to ‘play’ during this time; maybe I’ll post it along with later attempts.
Next was diligent visits to the gym and a lot of frustrating practice with trying to form chords. Two things really helped here:
1 – Lifting weights. My progress really started to accelerate as I gained muscle strength. I had lost some 20 or 25 pounds during my hospital and rehab stay. Most of that was muscle mass due to non-use of the muscles. I would work out for up to 1 1/2 hours three times per week.
2 – Serious and frustrating practice at forming chords. I used the techniques I had so often taught my own students on how to make progress in quickly forming chords. I mentally knew everything needed to play the banjo, I just needed to physically train myself again. In essence, I became my own student. My chemistry professor in college used to remind us that the first five letters in laboratory are “LABOR”. I thought the same mindset was needed here. I was right. And looking forward, this is exactly what my students need as well, especially those students who seem to be struggling with the basics. Too often we (all of us) tend to identify practicing fretted instruments as sitting on the front porch, effortlessly and leisurely picking a tune. Practice, for all of us, could not be further from that vision, as pleasant as it it to think of and anticipate.
Practice should be tough, critical, extremely repetitious, and sometimes even frustrating.
Such difficult lessons-learned in learning to play the banjo again have taught me much about the perspective of absolute beginners to fretted instruments. It has given me a new awareness of how beginners approach learning music, plus where and how exactly to apply their existing talents in order to achieve success with their musical goals and their life goals.
I should mention that even though I have recovered to a great extent, I have never been able to put in the time to get back the ability to play at the same speed, or play that ‘fancy stuff’ again. Although I’m pretty sure that only other banjo players can really tell the difference. If I didn’t have a ‘life’ then maybe I would have the time to get everything back. I do believe that it is possible, but it is very much like someone who is absolutely new with a skill; it simply takes a lot of time; time that is concentrated, long-term, laborious and sometimes even frustrating. Do you sense a trend here?
In retrospect, how I wish once again that the present-day me could have visited then; an apparition from the future. How it would have lifted my spirits to hear that not only would I recover, but I would again get to ride bikes with my son along Aldridge Creek. I would get to play the banjo again before hundreds of people on multiple occasions. I would get to continue teaching the banjo. And I would not only be able to walk again but would even become a volunteer with the Land Trust of North Alabama, building and maintaining trails for them and leading workday projects mainly on Green Mountain in the hollow where I had spent many a happy childhood day. And I would even be honored by them four years later as a 2018 Volunteer of the Year – and later, an even greater honor of having a trail named after me! All this lay ahead of me. But I could not see it.
So where do I go from here? Life has settled into pretty much the same as before. I really don’t like the phrase ‘the new normal’ as it seems to imply a certain resignation that I am unwilling to accept. I have been teaching banjo again since about 6 months after the stroke. I don’t teach mandolin or guitar anymore, and I’m fairly sure I won’t be expanding my repertoire of instruments played and taught after my retirement in a few years. But I may bring teaching mandolin and guitar back when I retire.
I’m also seeing several new or renewed interests blossom these days. I plan to expand my topic areas in this blog. I continue to enjoy volunteer work with the Land Trust, where the biggest challenges there are more age-related than stroke-related. Photography, one of my older interests, seems to have taken on a new life with me these days. Writing, theology, and urban studies are alive and well. Oh yes, then there’s birding.. and don’t forget astronomy … I also have to mention… and also don’t forget about…
You get the idea. My old self as always.